Give Up
by JeseeD
Summary: One shot: Arizona's words "I'm Arizona Freaking Robbins, I'm better than this and I'll do better than this. Hard yes, but not impossible." After 11x05 ... I just needed to get this out of my system.


**Hope you like it...**

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><p><strong>Give Up<strong>

Arizona swam in the small and uncomfortable bed, sleeping or at least trying to pick up some sleep in what seems like forever. What is curious is that she has a huge, comfortable and soft bed at home, but that's not an option for blonde these days.

It's been four days since Callie and Arizona had their last therapy session, session which ended with the final of their marriage. Callie was very clear. She had no intention of trying to fix their problems and save their marriage, the brunette wanted to be free and happy ... and not with Arizona.

Arizona understood, she really tried to understand, but how to face your fears and realize that instead of making happy the person you love, you are just making her feel miserable and stuck. Arizona seriously thought they could solve, that their love would be enough to fight anything but apparently it was not. She now realizes that the break she asked in the first place, helped her to realize that she needed Callie with her, but that hadn't been the same with the brunette. She was miles away from Arizona... and she couldn't reach it.

So now Arizona was in On Call room. First because she couldn't go home and maybe meet her wife ... _ex-wife_. And second because she was avoiding her like the plague in the hospital. She just towards her work and went to the daycare to see her daughter and then go back to the ER. That was her routine for the last four days and she's tired. She has pain in her neck, her back, her leg, she was in sleep deprivation and tired of cry, her eyes was burned ... _Yes, she wasn't good._

Arizona decided that she'll definitely not going to get to stay asleep so she made her way to the attending room for coffee, praying that no one was there so she wouldn't have to talk to anyone. But your dreams do not always come true ..._ that was happening frequently these days_.

"Thank God you're out of that room, beginning to worry here." April's voice rings with genuine concern, but Arizona just went to the coffee, added her enormous quantities of sugar to her hot coffee "Arizona, you know this is not healthy, you don't look so good, you need to rest and then you can talk to Callie. I'm sure you guys can fix this." April insists but as Arizona hear the word 'Fix' she felt sick and her anger boiling.

"There is nothing to fix April and I begging you to stop talking about this issue. I have enough to deal with these day, I don't need the gossip nurses around the hospital too." The blonde yelled to the redhead. Arizona leaves the room, throwing coffee in the trash ... she has no more desire to coffee.

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><p>Sitting in the cafeteria with Meredith, Callie spoke entertaining about her next surgery with Owen and Jackson, since they were starting to work with veterans and do more testing, but everything went as planned and the brunette could not be more excited for her new project.<p>

"Hey if you want we can go to Joe's to celebrate your new project." Meredith offered.

"Nothing I'd love to more, believe me, but I can't, I have Sofia tonight." Callie said with discouragement.

"I thought it was Arizona's night with Sofia."

"Well, since I haven't seen her for four days, I wouldn't be so sure that she will come to pick up her daughter." Callie said a little annoyed by the blonde's attitude.

"But you working together, how can you haven't seen in four days?." The blonde asked, remembering that a few hours ago she was in the operating room with Arizona.

"She's avoiding me like the plague. Look I know that things between us aren't on the best terms, but she is also Sofia's mother. She has responsibilities to her daughter." Callie says "The nurses in the daycare have told me that she is going to spend time with Sofia several times a day." With sadness in her voice, Callie says.

"Well at least she didn't forget that she has a daughter ... that's good, right?"

"I know she's upset and distressed, but I also know that she will someday understand my decision and perhaps thank me, in the middle time I guess I should let her breathe a little." Callie said looking at the begging of the cafeteria waiting futilely to Arizona appears.

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><p>"Dude, you look like shit, you should go to sleep." Alex said walking into the NICU<p>

"And why do you care Karev? Leave me alone." Arizona replied irritated.

"What the hell is gotten into you? I'm just trying to help."

"I don't need your help, even if I asked for it. Just do your job and I'll do mine. Okay." Alex looks surprised at her outburst but before he can say anything, Arizona is already out of the room.

She was so angry and she didn't know why, she had spent the last few days angry with everyone, screaming everyone and walking on autopilot. She blamed the sleep deprivation but she knew better. This was for Callie and people trying to give councils that she never asked for. She was sick of this, she just wanted everyone to stop getting into her business.

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><p>"You have to fix this." Callie turns to the deep voice to tackle a hectic Alex Karev "You have to fix it or PEDs will not survive the next month." Alex repeated the confused brunette.<p>

"I don't know what you're talking about and how many times must say that I do not care about what happens to your neighborhood Karev? That's not my job, is Arizona's." She responds with an exasperated tone that Alex used to her.

"That's the point. Robbins is not Robbins anymore, she is irritated and angry all the time and screaming at nurses and locked in the on call rooms, I have no idea what happened between you and your wife and I don't care, but you have to fix it before it get any worse." With that Alex is gone, leaving behind a very confused Callie.

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><p>Arizona made her way through the door of her house secretly for the first time in four days, she didn't expect to find Callie there since that her shift at the hospital wasn't over yet, so she went to the room she used to share with her wife to take a much needed shower and then leave the house without a trace.<p>

Arizona took off her clothes in the bathroom and removed the prosthesis to rest her aching left leg, opening the shower she letting the warm water over her head, neck, shoulders and back, feeling instantly as the stress overload of emotions and work left her exhausted body. It was there in the shower that Arizona let her sobbing openly. Sure she had cried before but always trying to not be heard ... _crying quietly_. Now though she let her tears come out without remorse mixing with the warm water of the shower.

After what seemed like hours, Arizona get out of the shower with her hair and body distilling drops of water, put her hand to take a bath towel and dry the moisture and then take her prosthesis and donning. She quickly entered the room rummaging through drawers and closet to get some fresh and clean clothes. When the blonde was about to wear a simple white shirt she could feel the presence of another person in the room.

"I thought I'll never see you again, I was even considering calling the police and report you as a missing person." Her voice heavy with sarcasm filled the room in silence. The blonde didn't turn around to face Callie. Instead gave way to a corner of the bed to put on sneakers "You really are going to keep ignoring me? We aren't in the stupid 30 days break anymore Arizona." The brunette snorted at the blonde's attitude, but regrets on her words when Arizona was visibly tenses.

"What's exactly what you expect me to tell Callie?." It was the answer. Arizona goes to the bottom of the cabinet pulling a large suitcase and then take some of her clothing drawers and put them in the suitcase. In this Callie moves from the doorway and sits on the edge of the bed.

"What were you doing Arizona? And what the hell are you doing now?" Arizona doesn't answer her questions, but she's getting more and more clothes in the suitcase "Arizona ... " Callie tries to take the blonde's arm to stop her movements but Arizona shakes the brunette hands off, giving her a look that could freeze a volcano. "Sorry ... but this is your home Arizona, you can't just leave."

"And what do you expect Callie? To continue living here as if we were roommates? Also this is not my home anymore." The blonde replied coldly staring incredulously at the brunette ... Did she seriously expected that they will keep sharing a house but not a home?

"I know you're mad about what happened but if someone should leave is me, it was my decision to be in the position that we are now." Callie says gently trying to appease the blonde.

"You're right, as always it was your decision, but I will not get my own daughter out from her home. When I asked we bought this house was thinking of giving a home to Sofia, a place where she felt protected and love, that's exactly what this house is for her, so I'm leaving." Besides the blonde didn't think she could being in the house without crying all the time.

"Are you trying to blame me for everything that is happening? You know that that is not fair Arizona, I took this decision because it is best for both and you know it." Callie replies

"Exactly, YOU came back to make the decision for both... AGAIN." Arizona was screaming now.

"Because I'm sure you hadn't done anything, you wanted to keep with this situation where both continue hurting to each other. That's not healthy. Forgive me for wanting to do the right thing for both of us and for Sofia's sakes too. "And now Callie was screaming back.

"Do not give me that shit Callie. You and I know that this was a purely selfish decision and I get it, you're the one that wants to feel free ... free of me and of what it means to be married to me." Arizona said with thick, strong voice "You want to find yourself again, be yourself again, be happy and be free. Do you Have any idea what that makes me feel?" Arizona asked softly. Her eyes filling with tears.

"Arizona, I ..." Callie doesn't know what to say, anything that goes through her mind seems not to be correct.

"Knowing that I am what keeps you away from being happy, being yourself. That's not something I ever wanted to realize, because since I met you my only goal was to make you happy no matter what and I know, I know I made some terrible mistakes, but I never gave up, I never gave up on my idea to make you happy and give you what you want, that's what make me happy too." A silent tear down the red cheek, Arizona quickly clean not wanting to let Callie sees her vulnerable.

"Arizona, you can't blame me for this, it's not like I'm doing this to us on purpose, I just..."

"I don't blame you for feeling stuck with me Callie or be unhappy and not be free ... I blame you for give up on us, forcing me to also give up, because like it or not, I know that there's nothing to fight for." She turns screaming

"Well that's not very fair of you or for us." Callie fits back

"It's not fair to anyone. Now it doesn't matter anymore, you wanted your freedom, wanted rid of me? Good as you do." Arizona closes the suitcase and stands at the door of the room "I'm going to pick up Sofia in half an hour, I just need to check into a hotel. I've not forgotten my daughter Calliope."

With that the Arizona turns around leaving the house, wondering how the hell is going to start a new life after this but with a firm thought in her mind.

_"I'm Arizona Freaking Robbins, I'm better than this and I'll do better than this.__Hard yes, but not impossible."_


End file.
